Featuring Joy & Geoff, Big Brother , Little Brother , Sis , and various household (and outdoor) critters...

Monday 30 November 2009

And There We Have It

Imagine received enough renewal agreements by today to continue operations. It is fun to read the excitement amongst other Imagine clients, who have been waiting with baited breath for this confirmation.

For us, the announcement resulted in mixed feelings. This morning, we received confirmation regarding one outstanding detail in regard to our situation, and were disappointed to say the least. So, the good news arrived in the midst of a let-down, which is making it harder to join in the celebration. However, when I think about all Imagine clients, and how this all came together - that is pretty amazing, and I am so pleased for everyone that it looks like the agency will be able to really start working on things...like referrals!

Stay tuned...eventually we will make our decision (we just want to feel really clear about WHY we choose a particular course of action, rather than going with an easy default reaction, so are taking our time).

At some point, Imagine clients will be given a list (without names, for confidentiality) showing how many folks are waiting, and where your own family falls on that list. Adoptions do not happen in exact order (due to things like age, gender, and sibling requests), but a list will provide a general idea. The actual referral wait time is to be determined - the new Board developed "conservative" estimates for the next couple of years, but are hoping that referrals can happen sooner and more frequently than proposed in the restructuring plan. It looks like our wait would be on the longest side, since our date of entry will be considered the date our file went to Ghana (February 2009). Sad. That will partly depend on how many family renewals came from folks who already had a file in Ethiopia, and how many were still in the stages before having a file sent overseas. I am not counting on knowing this before we have to make our decision, but it might be nice.

Anyway, same old routine for the next couple of weeks, then - thinking, talking in circles, etc. Hopefully the circles evolve into some kind of direction.

Wednesday 25 November 2009

Potential Interim Adventures

All this waiting and uncertainty must be getting to my head...because (and this is totally a not-for-sure thing at all) we actually discussed, and then replied, to an email that had been sent to our pastor from our larger church association, exploring whether anyone MIGHT be interested in spending 2 weeks in Northern Thailand, in the spring. Which apparently is the hot season (I checked). This would be no traditional vacation - folks would be staying at a refugee camp for refugees from neighbouring Myanmar (Burma - mostly from the Karen tribe) and facilitating Vacation Bible School, maybe some English instruction, etc. Seeing as I don't really like heat, or unfamiliarity, or travelling (especially air travel, group travel, and anything involving borders and customs), contemplating this makes total sense, right? Our church has officially sponsored a number of Karen refugees who have come to our city in the past couple of years - we have personally done a bit with the Karen youth, and have been somewhat involved in a working group within our church, focused on the Karen people. I may have to decide pretty soon about moving from considering this in theory, and committing to it for real. Yikes. Again, the trip is not even confirmed yet - just looking at who might be interested and so on. No promises. And I am open to being talked out of the idea ;)

Stalling...

We, along with other families who were not with Imagine's Ethiopia program, have been granted an extension on the renewal date to consider our decision some more...I think we know what we want to do, but there is one main detail we are still sorting out. Hoping to hear about that in a day or two. While we have until later in December, I expect that we will be making a decision within the next week or so...hopefully. It will be good to get going on an actual action plan again shortly!

Tuesday 24 November 2009

The Deadline Approaches

Oh boy. Just a few more days before our signed renewal agreement needs to arrive at the agency, if we plan to continue with them in the Ethiopia program. And we still have not done it...but that doesn't mean we are not going to. It's mainly the long wait for a referral that is giving us pause, but not enough pause to seriously pursue another agency and program, so I suspect we are just waiting for the last minute, during which we will feel that we had better get that renewal agreement in the mail to keep our options open with Imagine...

The reasons we initially chose Imagine's other Africa programs had nothing to do with a lack of desire to adopt from Ethiopia - in fact, when we chose Imagine, that was the only Africa program, and we were ok with that. There were just some things that steered us toward the Zambia and Ghana programs at the time - at first thinking that during a trip to Zambia we could meet our World Vision sponsor child and visit children's homes affiliated with folks we know here was one reason. By the time we realized Zambia would not work out, Ghana seemed like a great option because the wait time seemed nice and short (particularly appealing after months in the Zambia program), whereas Ethiopia's wait list had grown substantially. In the end, though, it looks like we are coming full circle - hard to say if we should have just gone with Ethiopia in the first place, but certainly if that is our decision now, we may be able to say more confidently that it was meant to be...after our decisions ruled out other options, we may be heading in the direction we needed to be going in the first place.

One of the great things about the Ethiopia program is that there are so many other families in our area who are also adopting from there - a ready-made adoptive community in which these children will be able to grow up with others in the same situation. There is also a bit of an Ethiopian population in our city - two Ethiopian restaurants, actually, which says something. We recently attended a fundraising dinner in the city for an Ethiopian NGO and its Canadian partner. It was great to learn more about the country, its needs, and work being done there. I have started seeking out more information on Ethiopia, as we did two years ago when considering this option. I find its history and culture quite fascinating - the ancient roots and traditions, and uniqueness from neighbouring countries. There will be much more to learn (which means books to buy - always exciting) and explore if this is our final decision. Won't be long now - we will let you know!

Online Shopping!

Just learned about this site:

http://www.amharickids.com

Word is going 'round that from November 29-December 5, 15% of proceeds from the sale of almost all items will be donated to the new and improved Imagine Adoption agency...I plan to have a closer look, but I've already seen some lovely things - scarves, jewellery, books, CDs, toys, etc.

Saturday 21 November 2009

The Cranberries - 20 Years


We were there, in person, in Toronto! I thought I would never see the Cranberries in concert, but with the announcement of a "just for fun" 20-year tour this fall, we jumped at the chance. Such a great band - they've been our favourite for years (although this concert made me realize we have not been playing them as much as we used to...). Actually, I kept checking for ticket sales announcements, and somehow missed the date by a few days. By the time I tried to get tickets for November 21, they were sold out. I was momentarily dismayed, then noticed a second date - and we ended up with aisle seats for November 20 (near the back, but it is a small auditorium, so no problem with that). The day before, Geoff had flu symptoms and came home from work. Then on the day of the show, Gladwyn vomited up a rope toy and was under the weather, so I ended up taking her in for x-rays (to make sure there wasn't more in there causing an obstruction) only a couple hours before we planned to leave. In the end, we made it (and Geoff and Gladwyn are just fine), and had a great time!

The evening was not without the usual camera-related glitches. I always carry a camera, and have three to use for various purposes. So, after a few concert-type venue experiments, I have decided that my older Canon digital point and shoot is best (my Canon SLR would in theory be best, but it's more of a pain to carry, and I worry about confiscation at events like this). The old Canon takes a clear picture from a distance, and has great zoom. Biggest drawback is the multiple AA batteries that have to be charged and ready. On the way to the concert, I decided to ensure that all was in good working order. Two sets of batteries charged, and ready to go. Then I tried to take a picture. Nothing except light streaks bouncing across the display. Nothing. Playback worked just fine, but I could only take pictures of light streaks. When Geoff had a look, he noticed some marks inside the viewfinder, as if something has been chewed up (meaning, most likely melted). I think my lovely camera is dead. And what a time to find out. That is the big disappointment of the night. No clear shots of Dolores for the photo album. Everything from a distance...so sad. Thankfully, I had my trusty, go-everywhere Fuji with me. It's a decent, compact point and shoot, which takes ok shots in the dark, but it just doesn't have the zoom I need for these occasions, and has a bit more trouble with distance. Aaah! I did take a few pictures, for better or for worse. What ended up being most useful was the video feature. Since I couldn't really get good photos, I ended up taking a few videos. Of course, since I had not planned to use that camera, I kept having to delete pictures from the nearly-full memory card to get more space. Now I think I need to have two cameras at all events, with two charged batteries, and extra memory cards. *Sigh*

An Adoption Story

Here is a nice article wherein a family outlines their adoption process and the beliefs around that. They have adopted both domestically and internationally. A good quick snapshot explaining a bit about how adoption happens, the reasons for some of the paperwork, etc.

http://www.transcriptbulletin.com/pages/full_story/push?article-A+Labor+of+Love%20&id=4557787-A+Labor+of+Love&instance=home_hometown_left

Wednesday 18 November 2009

Chemicals...Run Away & Head Toward the Green, Green Grass

I was a late bloomer when it comes to hair colour. For years after succumbing to professional haircuts (managed my own through high school just fine, thank you - ok - a little natural wave hides a multitude of trimming flaws, but still...) I resisted my stylist's encouragement to add colour. As long as I had natural colour of my own, I was happy enough...and I was cheap...mostly it was because I was cheap, because I was curious. Eventually I agreed to some highlights, and it wasn't long before I was having my whole head coloured. And, as I suspected, I was hooked. I love trying new colour combinations and highlight patterns - I pretty much let my stylist try any new little skill she has learned, and we go from there. Well, for much of the past few years, I have basically ignored (and honestly forgotten, after a few days) a bit of scalp itching and irritation, and occasional node swelling behind my ears, after having my hair coloured. Sadly, but I suppose fortunately, after my last visit the irritation did not subside after a few days, and the node swelling was quite painful. Overall, it took a few weeks for all the symptoms of the reaction to go away. So I have to face the facts. I have an allergy, likely to PPD. And in the end, it is a good thing I expect, because otherwise I might have continued putting toxic chemicals into my body every 10 weeks or so. I actually did a little research a few years ago, and didn't find anything terribly alarming. I wasn't using dark dyes regularly, and nothing permanent. But the colour has been consistently dark lately, and I think my stylist is using more permanent colours, and there also seems to be a bit more research available now. So I have to admit that even if I wasn't having reactions, using this stuff is not likely a good idea based on what I have read recently (and experienced personally). I still have to call my stylist to break the bad news and see if she has any ideas for my upcoming appointment, just in time for Christmas. Bad time to stop colouring, after being so used to it. Thankfully, there are some non-toxic and less toxic alternatives, and some natural options (never tried henna, but who knows), and for those who just want greys to vanish (without any real colour change), there are recipes online for rosemary and sage-based do-it-yourself rinses. I am still pretty sad about this, but ready to find some new options.

Now, after researching hair dyes, I decided, out of interest, to look into various other things, like makeup and lotions and soaps (as I have also been on the hunt for seasonal scents in handsoap for fall and winter). Of course, all this stuff is commonly made with toxic ingredients as well - my foundation, eyeliner, perfume - all of it. At home, we have already made the switch to non-toxic laundry detergent, household cleaner, and (usually) dishwashing detergent. Still lots of chemical-based products on our shelves to use up, but we're getting there. Now I guess it is time to do the same with our personal care products. It's pretty hard not to act once you are wittingly adding proven and suspected toxins to your body. Also very sad...I do love my perfume (and will use it up rather than throw it out), and must admit to being a little nervous about the effectiveness of the shampoos and styling products I might have to try, but it's worth a shot.

Here are some websites I have found interesting and useful so far (most are Canadian) - I do not claim to be an expert on this stuff (yet), and have not tried most of it, but hey, it's a start:

General information about product ingredients: http://lesstoxicguide.ca/index.asp?

On-line drug-store with LOTS of products, including a green/organic section (and FREE, fast shipping in Canada on anything): www.well.ca

One example of natural hair colour: http://actbynature.com/

One home-made herbal hair colour recipe: http://www.ehow.com/how_5294388_cover-grey-hair-naturally.html

Organic soaps: http://www.rockymountainsoap.com/webpage/1003154/1000144

Organic soaps, lotions, etc.: http://www.greenbeaver.com/new_products

Organic & non-toxic beauty products, various brands: http://www.karmavore.ca

Organic perfume: http://www.natural-living-for-women.com/organic-perfume.html

Non-toxic (sugar based) nail polish: http://suncoatproducts.com/index-polish.htm - I ordered one of these polishes, and the remover. The polish looks great on, and the remover did the job without the stink!

Household, beauty, natural health: www.shaklee.ca - we use the laundry concentrate and all-purpose household cleaner. Seems to do the job quite nicely.

Ok, there's some research for you to do in your spare time. I haven't even touched on the world of green/organic/natural/non-toxic baby products out there - cloth and unbleached disposable diapers, skin care, etc. And as far as online shopping in Canada goes, there are LOTS of options for the baby stuff, which is nice to see. Have fun exploring!

Tuesday 17 November 2009

Dogs, and Human Nature

Yesterday we came across a great deal on a nice, big, comfy dog bed. Our other ones are a little flat, hard, and lumpy, so we picked it up.

Well, it is a hit with Gladwyn in particular. She stayed on it all evening - not even following me upstairs where I spent some time. However, she won't let Hesper on it. Typically a good-natured hound who loves to play with Hesperantha, snuggle up beside her, and who lets Hesper boss her around the food dish, she growls and blocks Hesper from the new bed. Hopefully once the novelty wears off, all will be well, but I have to say I am always disappointed when my hounds mirror the less savoury aspects of human (and I suppose, animal) nature. I mean, I do realize dogs are generally thinking of themselves - even their affection, which I enjoy, seems pretty suspiciously self-gratifying - but at least when they are being nice about their "me first-ness" they can still be endearing.

Not sure how to categorize things like our little Scat-cat's food thievery - it makes me laugh when she growls and grumbles while dragging off a piece of meat, but I do think she would let us all starve while making off with choice meats, cheeses, and milk from the counter when our backs are turned. Don't think any of my pets have ever come close to embodying the qualities of heroic and unselfish animals occasionally featured in news stories - I guess maybe that is why those animals make the news.

Monday 16 November 2009

Adopting Older Youth

http://www.parentcentral.ca/parent/article/642985

This is a current, and quite interesting Canadian article about adoption and family plans for older, or "transitional age", youth. The point made, which is something I have considered from time to time, is that foster youth still need a family after age 18.

In my previous work with teens in a mental health facility, and through church youth work, I have experienced a real sense of sadness for these young people, off on their own at 18, expected to find housing and get themselves into full-time work or post-secondary education (or to complete high school credits). I am not sure how many 18 year-olds with secure family backgrounds and lots of opportunity to learn social responsibility would fare heading out entirely on their own, let alone the addition of lifelong disruptions leading to extra vulnerabilities. I actually toy with the idea of pursuing "something" along the lines of developing supports and networks for these youth.

One statistic presented in the article really caught my attention - traditionally only 21% of foster youth end up maintaining the employment or academic pursuits necessary to continue receiving financial support through Children's Aid. I think that would have surprised me at one point, but having seen some youth struggle in this area, even when I would have bet they had the skills to stick with the plan, maybe even more so than others, this number just confirms the level of need.

I have seen bright young people become so wrapped up in social and emotional chaos that they cannot maintain housing or work. Then they end up crashing temporarily here and there, or ending up in various kinds of trouble. One of my last clients in my previous job was a strong, yet exceptionally vulnerable, young woman to whom I waved as she was driven away in the taxi taking her to her new, empty little apartment located in an area of town where she would in all likelihood have difficulty separating herself from the influences that kept bringing her down. I have certainly seen a few manage their independence effectively, which is encouraging. But even then I have seen loneliness - like the young man who maintained outpatient appointments with me for months, working on a goal I suspect was not his primary need or priority. But he needed those sessions to have regular adult contact.

Some of my experiences involve youth who were not in foster care, but who had extremely limited or disrupted family contact. But the examples are the same for foster youth, too. And employment and academic progress speak mainly to the economic part of it - because even if you stick with the job or the school program, where do you go for Christmas dinner, and who comes to your college graduation?

Dancing the Night Away

We actually had fun at dance class tonight!

Since Geoff and I started social dance lessons last winter, we have been compelled to continue (and have actually dared trying out some rudimentary steps at various weddings). We have seen it as a bit of focused time together, a bit of exercise, and I suppose just something new to do. The reality of being a true beginner, as with any technical skill, is that the fun factor can be elusive. There can be a lot of frustration and disillusionment as weeks go by having to re-learn moves each week, stepping on and kicking each other (all accidental, of course), feeling like a rusty robot (isn't a waltz suppose to feel like gliding as well as look like it??)...you get the idea.

But for some reason, we were totally on the ball tonight. Geoff led me into a diagonal right off the bat during the foxtrot, and our conversation step came right back to us. The single swing went off without a hitch, including arch turns, and lady & guy unders. Then the new move (can't remember its name) made sense right away. And, our final waltz felt (despite likely not looking) lovely. We did not take a break between 6-week sessions this time, and my theory is that doing more than 6 weeks consecutively may be paying off. We can only hope. And I also hope we actually remember some of this stuff in the long-term :)

Friday 13 November 2009

November

November has proved to be a stressful month the past few years.

In 2007, we spent November digesting the news that our basset hound was living with untreatable tumours. We were also still recovering from minor whiplash injuries sustained in our July 2007 car accident - which was difficult given that I had already received an extension on my masters thesis and could not sit at a computer through the evenings to work on it. That year, we were also making big decisions through November, having attended a late October information session on...yes, that's right...international adoption with our soon-to-be agency. That part was generally good stress, but still a big deal with lots of discussion and organizing to do. Especially with some pieces we wanted in place within certain time-frames to avoid additional costs. We do have a lovely "family" photo of Geoff and I with our pets, taken that November, which is a nice memory.

November 2008 contained my thesis defense, and immediately following, news that the Zambia program was in trouble. Pretty exhausting. The happy memory there is dinner out right after my defense, and the pretty necklace Geoff gave me. And I think we pretty much finished getting our leaves gathered up for just about the first time ever...

So far in November 2009, our mortgage is due, so we are running to and from appointments and have been making decisions about what type of mortgage we would like to try this time. To add some planned renovation expenses to the mortgage, we need to have an appraisal done, which means it is crunch time for some of the projects we are trying to do, like build, stain, and install baseboards (want that done before an appraiser comes calling). It would also be nice to have those projects done before our homestudy update (once we finally decide what we are doing - the other BIG thing on our November agenda) - not necessary to get baseboards done for a home visit, I realize, but nice to show that we actually have kept working on the place since our last visit. As well, our adoption medicals likely need to be updated (unless we can get the homestudy updated and sent to the Ministry before sometime in December), so there are appointments and paperwork to coordinate for those. And the bottom line is that all this "stuff" means I am way behind on Christmas decorating, which is sad and also stressful. Need time and order to get that off the ground, which is too bad because once those lights are twinkling away, the whole place becomes just so soothing, which I need. I did get two trees up yesterday - one in the computer/family room/guest room upstairs, and one in our room. Unfortunately, I am having second thoughts about the dog/cat tree in the family room, and thinking I should have used the primitive/folk ornaments in there instead (which are homeless after our master bedroom re-do). If I catch up, I would not put it past me to un-decorate that tree and move the cat/dog theme elsewhere. I compromised a bit in our room, which is not totally ready (still need a bookcase and curtains to call it finished), but it was nice to see some decorating progress. Good thing I started my Christmas letter in August (what else to do with a broken back?) and my Christmas cards in October, so only have part of that project to complete. Anyway, we are just halfway through November so far, and I am hoping that the second half of the month is where all these loose ends get tied up...

Thursday 12 November 2009

Ethiopia's Orphans

Here are a couple of links to interesting articles about Ethiopia's orphans, their care, and issues surrounding adoption.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/africa/article6032044.ece

http://www.irinnews.org/report.aspx?reportid=52622

Good News Regarding Ethiopia

http://www.bdo.ca/extranets/imagineadoption/index.cfm

A team representing Imagine and BDO (the bankruptcy trustee) has recently returned from a trip to Ethiopia to assess and re-establish relationships with key staff and orphanages. They have signed contracts with two out of four orphanages, and continue to talk with the remaining two. The key staff members in Ethiopia have agreed to continue working with the agency, and seem well-qualified and well-positioned to assist. The contracted orphanages have stated they anticipate referrals beginning sooner than projected in Imagine's restructuring proposal, which is excellent news! All in all, it was a productive and encouraging trip, which is great to hear.

Inching Forward

Still thick in the middle of indecision. One thing we know for sure is that our paperwork will need to be updated no matter what route we go. So, we are starting with our Ontario medical forms. Geoff has booked an appointment with our physician, and I have sent emails to the agency and our social worker to see who can provide fresh copies to us. Hopefully we get a response and the forms before Geoff's appointment...

These decisions would be a lot easier if the old baby in a basket on the doorstep scenario actually played out, or someone called us up and said, "Hey, I heard you wanted to adopt..."

*Sigh*

Oh well.

Monday 9 November 2009

Ghana - The Continuing Story

While we have been given the news that our agency does not plan to continue with a Ghana program, there is a strong voice, primarily from those with referrals, to find a way for these adoptions to proceed. It seems there may be some key individuals who may support a movement to keep Ghana alive and well. The closure of the program does not mean that Ghana adoptions cannot happen in Canada, but there are definite obstacles which would take a significant amount of effort to overcome. It seems like such an unlikely possibility, given that we have essentially been told twice that the program is closing. But if there is a small chance, especially for those with referrals...

One family with a referral for siblings learned that their children had been sent back to their village of origin during the Hands of Mercy orphanage issues. Tragically, one of these children has since died. Now, the Hands of Mercy Shutterfly site has just posted that another baby, also sent back to his village with his twin brother, has died as well. He was apparently to be referred to parents in Canada. We will of course have no way of ever knowing who would have been referred to us, but I suspect now that we were closer to a referral than I might have guessed, since at least one of the Ghana referrals came to a family whose dossier was sent after ours (they would have received their referral ahead of us likely because of a broader age request). While I am glad we did not receive a referral only to find out that we could not complete the adoption, thinking that some of these children impacted by the orphanage closure/restructuring could have been referred to us makes the situation more real in some ways.

http://handsofmercy.shutterfly.com/

Change at Church

In non-adoption-related news, our church may be heading into an interesting, and likely challenging, time of change. Ours is a unique church in our area, essentially the only evangelical church to maintain a formal/traditional service with a few "high church" elements. We also offer, in our gym, a contemporary service. It is not a large church - we have averaged close to 200 in our traditional service the past few years, which is a dwindling number. And around 100 people attend the contemporary service, which is fairly steady, but perhaps growing a bit. Our sanctuary can easily fit 400, I believe. Being a downtown church, the congregation is eclectic - we have students, lots of elderly folk, single adults, and families, all from various backgrounds culturally, economically, educationally, etc. We are also the home church for most of the large group of Karen (Burmese) refugees who have arrived in our city the past couple of years, and the building is used by a Spanish congregation. Over the past year, an ad hoc committee has been meeting to examine future needs and make recommendations. They believe that at this time we need o consider joining our services, while trying to preserve elements that are core to each. They are proposing an interesting model - one where the core part of the service is quite "neutral" - sermon, scripture, announcements, etc. On either end of the service would be an optional music experience - some hymns and so on before the service, and some band-led praise songs afterward. The logistics of this would be a bit of a challenge, as would considering the place of music throughout the core service. These details have not really been discussed yet, as there needs to be discussion and agreement about moving forward with the general idea first. Anyway, a congregational meeting is coming up in a couple of weeks, and I do hope that we are all able to have a productive discussion together. Anyway, this morning I was reading a blog, and the author had taken this from someone else's blog, and I felt it was fitting, so I have in turn borrowed it for my blog! Here it is:

From, The Peacemaker, by Ken Sande:

"Contrary to what you may have heard, God's highest purpose for you is not to make you comfortable, wealthy, and happy. If you have put your faith in Him, He has something far more wonderful in mind for you ... He plans to conform you to the likeness of His Son. He began to change you the day you yielded yourself to Him, and He will continue this process throughout your life. Conflict is one of the many tools that God can use to help you develop a more Christlike character. To begin with, He may use conflict to remind you of your weaknesses and to encourage you to depend more on Him (2 Cor. 12:7-10). The more you depend on His grace, wisdom, and power, the more you will be imitating the Lord Jesus (Luke 22:41-44).


God may also use conflict to uncover sinful attitudes and habits in your life. Conflict is especially effective in breaking down appearances and revealing stubborn pride, a bitter and unforgiving heart, or a critical tongue. When you are squeezed through controversy and these sinful characteristics are brought to the surface, you will have an opportunity to admit their existence and ask for God's help in overcoming them.


There is more to being like Jesus than simply recognizing weaknesses and confessing sin to grow; you must also practice new attitudes and habits. Just as athletes develop their muscles and skills through strenuous training, you will see greatest growth when you repeatedly think and behave properly in response to challenging circumstances..."

Sunday 8 November 2009

Listening


Listen and be led
L. M. Heroux

How do you listen when you are not sure where to turn your attention? That is the question. I think part of having to re-think our adoption plans, again, really involves listening, observing, reflecting - on where we have been, why we have gone/been there, and what it means to be where we are now. One of the hardest things to sort through is what meaning to take from everything that has happened. Some people stop their adoption process after multiple closed doors. Is that what this means? Some people strengthen or maintain their resolve, and simply look for new ways of accomplishing the original goal. Is that what this means? Some people continue the journey, but head in a completely different direction. Is that what this means? We have started, this past week, to chat about where we are going from here. Trying to evaluate what we actually want and need to be doing at this point, after so much uncertainty, is difficult, but seems to be the place to start. Taking the time for conversation has been helpful - getting to know any inklings, preferences, "for sures" each of us has, and seeing where that leaves us. So far we are at:

1. Yes to kids - Each of us pictures our family including kids, somehow.
2. Yes to adoption - Both of us get most excited when we picture those future kids coming to us through adoption.
3. Yes, most likely, to Africa - This is still under discussion, but it looks like we generally feel most strongly about proceeding with an adoption from Africa, particularly since one of us clearly voiced that continuing, specific desire. Exploration of public adoption is on the table, but still not the most likely scenario for now. If we explore local possibilities, there has also been discussion about the meaning of our process so far, and all that we have invested in preparing to adopt transracially and transculturally - we have read, attended workshops, joined a transractial parenting group, etc. - feeling like it makes sense to keep going in a direction we have started, unless there is a clear and specific reason not to...

So, for now it seems important to listen - to each other, to others in the same process who are also contemplating their options, to available information - to pay attention and process what we see, think, and hear. Hopefully we make use of the listening time by tuning in where we need to...which seems like the hard part. Hopefully by listening, we will know when to act, and what that action should be. Hopefully our listening is not passive, but active in the sense of taking time to talk, reflect, and learn.

Monday 2 November 2009

Official Ghana Announcement Link

Here is the official news on the Ghana program, posted publicly by the bankruptcy trustee:

http://www.bdo.ca/extranets/imagineadoption/index.cfm

Back to the Drawing Board

I received a call from Imagine this morning, to address any questions we might have and to outline our options, which are to withdraw from Imagine or join the Ethiopia program. Seeing as we initially thought we would be going with the Ethiopia program, when we chose Imagine two years ago, it seems we may have come full circle. At this point we have not decided what we will do. Our options outside of Imagine include, for example, public adoption in Ontario or looking into international adoption through another agency (which means starting from scratch financially). We have just about a month to decide whether to renew with Imagine. Yikes - busy few weeks ahead, it looks like as we engage in major future planning.