Informed vs...not so much

I find it unsettling to observe the willingness of some to make hurtful, uninformed statements about others and their choices. In online comments to many of the articles covering our agency story, quite a few postings suggest that international adoptive parents are:

* Wealthy, since we managed to come up with the money to pursue private/international adoption. To me, this assumption really shows that some folks are having difficulty considering alternative scenarios...like maybe families have put off buying new cars, or bigger houses, or taking trips, or have taken on side jobs...and this may have taken years...

* Trying to be like celebrities. And to that, I really need to say that I am the last person to do something to be LIKE popular culture - I tend to go the other way. And I've wanted to adopt since childhood - way before international adoption became linked with celebrity...

* Participating in baby-buying. Ah, I'm not even sure how to respond to that one. A business needs incoming cash flow to pay staff, operate a building, etc. Adoption professionals do this as their JOB, not as a volunteer work. We are helping keep an organization running, ensuring that matched children are fed and clothed until they are in our care. This is the same as paying for the services of a lawyer to complete a private domestic adoption.

* Ignoring Canadian babies and children in need. This assumes (and there are some comments to this effect as well) that Canadian babies/children are easily available for adoption. Well, there are long waiting lists for private Canadian adoptions, so for those children, needs for family will be easily met. Canadian children are not in orphanages with low staff ratios. Foster situations are much preferable to orphanage care (still with a goal of family re-unification or adoption, not as a permanent solution). And, there are other considerations with domestic public adoption and older child adoption that are highly personal in nature. The fact is, worldwide (not just in Canada) there are children needing families. I am quite glad that some families feel led to pursue domestic adoption, and some to pursue international so that needs of children around the world are met...

Anyway, it's not the comments themselves that bother me - truly it isn't - but I am bothered by the ugliness of human nature sometimes. Not everyone has to love the idea of international adoption - and I can respect an opinion based on careful consideration, good understanding of the issues, and so on, even if it is different than mine. Feel free to offer enlightening comments when you read these articles...and if you are inclined not to say something nice, well, there are already plenty doing that, why not take a pass!