Gathering Momentum...Things are Happening!

Well, we are ready to move on and move forward.

We are very thankful that in June 2008, our agency announced a new adoption program in partnership with Ghana. This week we will be looking further into this possibility. International adoption has been happening in Ghana for a while, although the program is new to our agency. So far, the process appears fairly stable, and we very much look forward to learning more about the country and its people.

It was very affirming this morning at church to talk with a couple, originally from Sierra Leone, who both lived in Ghana before coming to Canada. They were very enthusiastic about the country, and are happy to have us consult with them along the way. They described Ghana as a beautiful, friendly, and well-developed country. Good friends of ours also have missionary friends in Ghana, and so we are beginning to see some connections building there, which is encouraging. While we had originally been expecting to go ahead with the Zambia program, we believe that moving forward with Ghana is the best and most exciting fit for us - we remain very confident about our decision to adopt, and about seeing how things unfold in the coming months.

We will certainly keep you posted!

One Thing Down...!!!

At long, long last, the master's thesis has been successfully defended! And now that means we can focus a lot more on adoption preparation and planning. SUCH a lovely thing to know that school is out of the way and won't be getting mucked up with the adoption process. Yay!

Hanging In & Keeping Up

Well, the usual questions about when we expect things to start moving along for our adoption keep coming. And the answer is still that we just sit tight...for a little while. It seems harder for others to accept the unknowns than it is for us, I think.

And never fear...we're still knee-deep in a few of the things that need to be "of the past" before we will feel truly ready to put all of our energies into adoption planning and referrals. If all goes well, that thesis of mine will hopefully be all done in about 3 weeks.

This week, we've been getting acquainted with our new little niece, who was born November 2 (contemplated, conceived, carried, and born in much less time, I might add, than we have been working on this adoption). She's quite lovely, and we're glad she's nearby & will be a big part of our lives!

Yes, it will be a while...

...and that's ok, for now. We knew there would be lots of unknowns in regard to timing, and we have a long list we're working through to get ready for travel and for bringing two babies home. To be honest, there's been so much going on currently that we are looking foward to late fall and Christmas, to turn our attention more toward preparing for parenthood!

Through the fall, we are registered for various adoption workshops - basic infant care, lifebooks, hair & skin care. These seem to be a really nice way of connecting with other adopting couples, and maintaining focus on the reality of our future.

Just Because

Ah, camping. We did pretty well this summer grabbing a few weekends to get away. We both find it's one of the only ways we can totally relax - no responsibilities or distractions, and lots of outdoor time (which we're not so good at around home - sadly, and despite the lovely walking and hiking at our doorstep). Let's hope that camping still holds its charm when we've got a couple of little folks in tow! The trailer definitely makes things convenient in some ways, if we can figure out sleeping arrangements for babies. For this year, we're planning on at least one, if not two more little getaways before the campgrounds close for the season. And then we'll get busy on the nursery and all those little details around the house and yard that are waiting for us...

Oh, and I finally told my manager of our adoption plans...who emailed back a very kind and supportive response, which was lovely. For some reason I still feel self-conscious telling people, almost as if I'm just pretending and will be found out as being a silly girl playing house. Odd, but true. And as much as I am trying to be mentally prepared for any negative or indifferent responses, I do tend to protect our news so that nothing spoils it!

And just one more thing. It's looking like this thesis of mine will finally be finished up this fall, and we are so looking forward to being able to settle into our adoption planning and preparations for "real" at long last. Yay!

Adoption Issues: Ages & Stages

For two days last week, all the staff from my team attended a workshop on attachment. The education was geared toward our work with adolescents, but it was also pertinent for me given our adoption plans. The facilitator happens to be focusing her private practice mainly on adopted children at the moment, so she referred to adoption quite a bit. It was interesting hearing comments and questions from some of my team members, based on their perspectives on adoption. I do wonder, in my field, if there is more concern about adopting, partly because we tend to see and work with adopted people and their families when things are not going well. Not that my colleagues are necessarily unsupportive of adoption, but there seem to be lots of folks who express some respect for people who adopt while saying they would never do it themselves, or who really feel that it is much wiser to adopt only young infants. Certainly from an attachment standpoint, it is much better for children to be adopted as young infants, and I do believe this should always be the goal when the need for adoption is identified early enough. But I still believe firmly in adoption whenever it is necessary, knowing that the alternative for children is to grow up in group living environments. The research seems pretty clear that a nuclear family life yields better results than group living environments, even when children are adopted past infancy. Of course, loving group living environments are necessary as well, when there are more children than available adoptive families, and I strongly support any efforts to promote nurturing group living environments that provide the best possible experience for children. For parents adopting past early infancy, I feel it is essential to be well-educated and prepared to work actively at building healthy attachments with their children, and to recognize issues should they arise (not saying that ALL adoptive parents shouldn't be attuned to attachment needs, but that the issue becomes perhaps more important when adopting at older ages). Adoptive parents do need to realize the layers of complexity present in building parent-child relationships with their children, and helping their children develop the security and relational capacity to have healthy relationships with others throughout their lives. Parenting, including adoptive parenting, should never be entered naively...While I do hope that our family life reflects strong attachments, I also know it may not always be easy. But that's ok, because we are choosing this path, and are convinced of its "rightness" for us.

Name Games

It's an interesting process, choosing names for one's future children. Seems that every time we go through the books, we come up with some new ones, and every time I look at the lists I wonder whether we've figured it out yet. So far there are a few that seem to be sticking...

Since we don't know whether we will have two boys, two girls, or one of each, we are trying to pick 2-3 names per gender to have ready when the time comes.We don't really know whether we will name the babies before we meet them in person or not. It would be nice to have names to use in the months before we travel, once we know who these little people are. But apparently there's no rush at all - we actually have a year once the adoption is finalized before completing all the citizenship paperwork and so on...don't worry - we'll be choosing names at least before we get back from Africa!

We are definitely open to keeping existing names, if they appeal to us and are easily used in Canadian culture. And we at least want to keep existing names as middle names, so that's partly why we may need a few first name options of our choosing to match up with middle names chosen for us. Perhaps it seems like we're jumping the gun, but since we'll only have 3 months notice (or less) before we meet our children, we don't want to be scrambling to come up with names in the midst of travel preparation and everything else at the time...And I need a few months of feeling settled about our top name choices to make sure they have staying power. Truth is, I've always loved thinking about names, and at last I have a good excuse!

Figuring out our "name personalities" has been enlightening - not only the sounds we like, but the "vibe" we are going for...Sadly, I was a fan of "vintage" names long before they became the trend, so I've had to let go of a couple options that have become too popular - thankfully, there are choices galore. So, we'll keep narrowing down & keeping an eye on the names that stay at the top of the list, and see where we end up.

Craftastic!

...and here's what I've added to my repertoire - the all new, "any-gender-friendly" Africa messenger bag...so far the tan with camo has been the top seller.

Building Birdhouses

Here's what Geoff's been up to...building birdhouses for selling & gifting...

We're really enjoying our crafty side these days...too bad the house (including nursery renos) & gardens don't take care of themselves while we're working on our projects!

Off Topic: My Amazing Computer Savvy

Ah ha! I am a total computer genius. While browsing links on our adoption agency's website today I found the link to the adoption tickers I have seen on everyone else's adoption blogs (I was having some serious ticker envy but had not bothered to ask anyone where they came from). Well, I just have to brag that I followed the directions on www.lilypie.com, which included making a ticker by clicking my choices (very tough stuff...kidding) and then copying html code from that site...then I guessed correctly where to find the info I needed on the blog layout page, and TA DA! - a little pasting, and it worked!!! I will definitely be attracting some major computer programming contracts any time now.

AND, this post is actually not completely off topic - allow me to draw your attention to our lovely new adoption timeline ticking away at the top of the blog to help us all keep track...enjoy!

Jobs: Unfortunate but Necessary

Ok, I haven't totally given up on my belief that there really are great jobs out there that are a perfect fit for people...I'm just looking forward to the next phase for me, whenever it arrives in the form of two little siblings from Africa (I'm hoping that job will be the best fit yet...we'll see)!

Now, Geoff is one of those folks who has a job that fits like a glove! As I've posted before, the only issue is that in his current position, I would pretty much have to work a day or two in order to keep things afloat. We're really not wanting to get ahead of ourselves, but there's a chance things might shift in a positive direction in the near future, and that the goal of full-time parenting *might* be looking a bit more realistic...something to keep in your thoughts & prayers for sure.

Confession (& Warning): Growing Cloth Diaper Obsession

Uh, yeah, it's true. I'm finding cloth diapers fascinating. It will be such a shame to use them - they're so clean & lovely. So far, then, my faves (without having tried them out yet) are the Rumparooz (by far, I think - that lovely double gusset, stretchy elastic, and super-soft lining are fabulous, not to mention my super-cute outer prints & fabrics), the Whamies, and the Berryplush (only drawback with these is that there's no one-size option). I'm thinking that the Baby Kangas & Bum Genius could be near the top of my list as well. Eventually, I will be able to do the "action research" and let you know!

Meanwhile...I have managed to tie diapering in with decorating (I can pretty much link anything with decorating)...Once I got thinking about where on earth a person keeps 50 diapers (the idea of separate bedrooms made sense all of a sudden - I'm thinking attractive wicker laundry basket for the clean ones???), I also realized that the dirty ones have to go somewhere too...and that's where things got ugly. Literally. Diaper pails are ridiculously hideous contraptions it seems. I cannot fathom willingly placing one next to my lovely antique dresser. And then a little googling brought http://www.thegoodmama.com/ to the rescue - lovely, waterproof, zippered hanging diaper pail bags in beautiful prints. Relief.

Things are Getting Serious...Contemplating Diapers

It's my sister's fault. She actually beat me to the research & shopping in the diaper department in preparation for her coming baby, so it goes without saying that I had to jump on the bandwagon, and quickly (digression: I always have a strong visual image of literally jumping onto a bandwagon when I use that expression, and it makes me laugh a little internally). Anyway...it was pretty much a given for us to plan on using cloth diapers (hear the cloth diaper advocates cheer, and the convenience-oriented "realists" shake their heads at my naivety...) - I've been reading, of course, about all the options and pros and cons of every possible diapering solution, and from different perspectives as much as possible (although pretty much every cloth vs. disposable link is pro-cloth...). The arguments (and sample calculations) showing the cost savings of cloth (even when factoring in hot water use) AND the environmental implications (even when factoring in water and energy conservation) were convincing...and then I started browsing the cloth diaper websites. And oh, the colours and patterns and styles. It's like a whole new wardrobing opportunity for babies & toddlers - involving guilt-free shopping since they're an absolute necessity! So, I've ordered samples of various styles - mostly one-size as we don't know the ages and sizes our babies will be when we meet them - and they're starting to trickle in. The cow-print Happy Heinys one-size is very cute, and I'm so curious to see the Evolution gnome print (one of my exceptions that was ordered from the USA rather than Canada). The Mommy's Touch Easy Clean in Jungle Safari will hopefully be as great as I expect it to be, and the fun colours of the Whamies, Baby Kanga, Bum Genius, and Rumparooz are hopefully worth the wait. But...nothing is likely to compare with the first of the oh, so lovely Berryplush animal prints that have arrived - the loveliest, softest possible plush outside, with the softest ever "soaker" lining - and in fabulous jaguar and leopard prints!!! Who would have thought diapers could be such fun...at least before actually having to deal with them and launder them every couple of days. Now here's a frightening thought - with two babies or baby/toddler in diapers, we need two full sets at a recommended minimum of 24 diapers each - depending how often we feel like doing the laundry. That's between 50 and 60 or so diapers. At least at that rate, I can definitely try out pretty much all of my favourite colours and styles...

A Reflection...on Adoption & Otherwise...

The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet

Frederick Buechner

Sample Bag Pictures...(More on Facebook)